


Play Date

by tappity_tap



Category: Bleach
Genre: Babies, Childhood Friends, Cute Kids, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Family, Family Fluff, Growing Up, Married Life, Parenthood, Slice of Life, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-10 13:11:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12912615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tappity_tap/pseuds/tappity_tap
Summary: Being a new parent isn’t easy, especially when odd requests start rolling in.Warnings: Like…two f-bombs and a bit of wink-wink nuge-nudge from Renji, and that’s it. (I know, I’m shocked, too)





	Play Date

_Tack! Tack! Tack!_

Rukia froze, the cup of hot tea only midway traveled on its journey to her mouth. Through the translucent haze billowing over the rim, she could make out the blurred silhouette near the hearth in the kitchen area, busy juggling multiple changing supplies and one fussy infant and making no indications he had noticed the knocking at their front door. In fact, he had yet to even acknowledge _her_ and she had walked passed him multiple times in the previous five minutes.

Well…this was certainly annoying, but it was also hardly surprising. Based on personal experience, she knew he was likely too absorbed in the task at hand to hear it, or any other sounds in the vicinity for that matter, which is why she raised her voice a little louder than generally accepted for indoor use when she set her cup back down and asked, “Renji…are you expecting someone?”

He shook his head as best as one could with a box of wet wipes tucked tightly under their chin and all their concentration directed at undoing the fasteners of a rolled up mat pinned under their knee. “ _Uh-uh_.”

Rukia’s fingers began toying with the hem of her sleeve. “Are you sure?” she prompted. The soft navy fabric twisting into her palm had an oddly soothing effect, however when it managed to slip out of her grasp she decided not to bother retrieving it.

“ _…euyah._ ”

Lifting her cup again with a sigh, Rukia tried a different approach. “Was there something you were supposed to do today? Did someone borrow something from you? Did _you_ borrow something?” Her nails tapped smartly on its hard enamel, a pale beige glazed with flecks of chocolate brown.

In truth, she was not actually nagging him, but rather trying very hard to avoid being forced to leave the drink and comfortable position she had _just_ sat down to enjoy. After all, staying up most of the night trying to soothe a miserable baby in the midst of cutting her first few teeth meant Mommy earned her relaxation time fair and square. Why should she give up such a rare luxury simply because someone decided to come bother them?

But with each question, Renji’s scruffy crimson ponytail would once more swing gingerly from side to side as he continued his attempt at opening the stubborn snaps, even through the second set of knocks. Realizing her plan to scapegoat him into answering the door was probably a lost cause, Rukia soon let the subject go in favor of actually getting to taste her tea before it grew cold. Since Inoue had advised her to drink it hot when she gave it to her that was exactly how she intended to consume it.

Once sufficiently nested on her zabuton with her legs tucked off to the side, she lifted the cup and tilted it into her mouth. The dark liquid flowed over the rim, past her lips, until her tongue was completely submerged. She let herself bask in the rich flavor for one breath, in and out through the nose, and refrained from swallowing until her palate had been thoroughly steeped with the taste.

Mmmm…earthy and sweet, with a faint aftertaste of something…flowery? As always, Inoue’s recommendation proved nothing short of perfection and satisfaction. Contented, Rukia sighed into the cloud of steam and watched it swirl away in thin coiling tendrils. It was nice being able to taste and smell properly again now the side effects of pregnancy, labor, and breastfeeding were no longer throwing her senses out of whack.

Outside her self-contained bubble of nirvana, Renji (who was admittedly starting to look very enticing with his hair thoroughly disheveled and dark grey yukata about to drop off one shoulder) had finally managed to yank hard enough for the last snap to pop apart. The force of the blowback might have thrown him completely off balance had he worried at all about keeping the yukata and box of wipes in place, but possessing the reflexes of a parent meant every last ounce of effort went into saving himself and Ichika. While the two of them thankfully remained upright and stable, the yukata slipped and fell open and the wipes tumbled down his half-bared chest, bouncing once on the dark wood floor in front of him and landing upside down a few inches away.

“ _Fuckin’ hell…stupid thing…piece ‘o garbage…_ ” he grumbled loudly at it (though not half as loudly as the baby he was holding) and, with a groan of exasperation, leaned away to grab the rest of the supplies behind him. Lacking the weight of his knee to restrain it, the mat instantly sprang unrolled and settled itself into a flatter state, helped along by the various objects he heaped onto it.

With all prep work complete and his clothes tugged back into their proper place, Renji’s demeanor instantly flipped from disgruntled consumer to overenthusiastic salesman the moment he laid Ichika on the quilted surface of the pad.

“Ooookay, Ichika!” he declared with a clap of his hands and an extra dose of excitement in his voice, “Daddy’s gonna getcha all nice ‘an clean now, how’sat sound? That’ll make ya feel better, huh?” Employing the keen instinct for baby pacification he had somehow been blessed with, Renji alternated rhythmically bounce-pushing Ichika around horizontally on the mat and tickling each of the three blue-eyed patchwork bunnies hopping around on the front of her lavender sleeper until the angry little grunts quieted down into soft coos and giggles.

Rukia leisurely sipped her tea, primarily focused on pinpointing that third flavor, but also allotting a small portion of her attention to watching Renji effortlessly charm their daughter. A pleasant warmth spread from her head all the way down to bared toes burrowed into the thick maroon fabric under her.

As Renji swept the necessary items into place around himself, a third (far more impatient) round of knocking echoed through the house. This time, he heard it…and was subsequently so surprised he nearly lost his hold on a jar of Vaseline. With an expression closely resembling that of a startled rodent, Renji whipped around to look at Rukia.

“Uhh…that for you?”

“If it was, wouldn’t I have answered it the first time?” Rukia drew in a deep whiff of the thinning fog of vapor in front of her face. Ah, yes, flowers…sakura blossoms, most likely. She helped herself to a bite-sized wafer cookie (also sent by Inoue) from the package sitting on the tray beside the teapot.

One tattooed brow cocked. “The first-?”

_BAM! BAM! BAM!_

_“Abarai…Kuchiki…I know you’re in there. Open the door. I need to speak with you,”_ the unexpected visitor called out. Though frustrated and heavily muffled by several layers of screen and wall, the voice was undoubtedly that of the 12th Division’s lieutenant.

Renji squinted in the direction of the entranceway like it would somehow help him see right through the solid wood separating them from the outside. “Akon? The hell does he want?” He kept staring even while undoing the front of Ichika’s sleeper, making rather impressive time for someone with such large fingers in comparison to the tiny round buttons.

Maintaining her air of aloof tranquility, Rukia calmly swallowed the cookie and continued alternating sips and inhales with her eyes closed. “I have no idea.”

She heard a variety of different materials rustling around, along with Ichika happily repeating her current favorite vocalizations, as he went through several steps of the changing process without a word. Then, “…well can ya find out?”

Rukia cracked one eye and pouted at him over her cup. “But _Renjiii…_ ” she sighed heavily until the force of her breath made little ripples start moving across the surface of the tea.

“But _Rukiaaa…_ ” he replied in an identical tone of exasperation, with a pointed shake of the wet wipes in her direction.

With another hefty sigh, she set her cup down and rose from her cushion. Fine. He won this time. Although…in the grand scheme of things, did diaper duty ever really count as “winning”? Rukia did find a small measure of vindictive satisfaction in deciding it most certainly did _not_ , so she was able to open the door and bow her head to Akon with some genuineness to her smile. Even after nearly toppling over from stumbling through the entryway with her left foot not yet properly seated in its sandal.

“Akon-dono, hello! This is a pleasant surprise!” She somehow regained her balance and shoved the toe edge of the sandal into the floor behind her right heel until her foot finally slid into place.

“Kuchiki…about time, dontcha think?” Akon tapped his spindly fingers on his crossed arms, unimpressed.

“Right…yes, I apologize for making you wait. We…ah…had some _important_ things to take care of first,” she fibbed and slid the door open further with a rather sloppily executed welcoming gesture, “Won’t you please come inside?”

“Great, thanks. This’ll only take a…” he paused with only one foot fully through the doorway and took a moment to closely study her: Bag-eyed, probably smiling at him a little too widely, wearily propping herself up against the door panel she was holding open. “Rough night last night?”

“ _Every_ night,” Rukia corrected him with every last drop of false cheer she could muster injected into those two words. He entered sans any further commentary.

Once rid of his footwear, Akon immediately stepped up and loitered in the middle of the entrance hall while she turned his sandals around, curiously eyeballing his surroundings. At the very moment she was preparing to de-sandal herself, he remarked, “Nice place you got,” with a particularly intent glance through the half-open side of the receiving room. From where he stood, he had a clear view of the tokonoma, currently featuring a small vase of (out of season) flowers under the beautiful handwritten scroll her brother had gifted the family on their wedding day…

…along with the series of haphazard piles containing outgrown clothing, broken toys, and other miscellaneous baby paraphernalia that had built up in front of it over the past five months.

_Oh no!_

Her sandals went skittering wildly across the genkan floor in her frantic ascent to the foyer. Rushing to the screens almost as fast as if she had used shunpo, she hastily slammed them shut and whipped back around, beet-faced and utterly _mortified_ the shameful secret she had constantly lectured Renji about concealing before letting people into the house ultimately ended up being discovered on _her_ watch.

“Ahhh…th-thank you…it’s normally not in this state, but with the baby…things just…well…”she laughed sheepishly and fiddled with a lock of hair, only to realize with yet _another_ surge of embarrassment that she had forgotten to comb it since getting out of bed a few hours earlier.

He nodded and emitted a noise that sounded vaguely sympathetic, which did help _some_ , but she still scrambled desperately to find a new subject. “Ummm…I…uh…there’s a pot of tea…in the main space…would you care for a cup?”

“Sure, why not?” Akon adjusted the white lab coat he wore over his shihakusho and slunk towards the living area where Rukia ushered him, past Renji’s kneeling form across the way in the kitchen.

Currently occupied with holding up the baby’s ankles in one hand and using the other, with the help of his chin, to unfold a clean diaper, Renji could only offer their guest an unrefined eyebrow raise in acknowledgement. “Akon-san.”

“…Abarai.” His addressee nodded to him curtly and entered the main living room behind Rukia.

Hitching up the hem of her yukata, Rukia knelt before the tea cabinet in the corner and slid open the lower compartment that housed their less formal earthenware set. Technically, she _should_ have been using the finer set painted with orange and gold koi for a guest, however, the cup she was currently using had come from this one, so for consistency (and thicker sides that were less likely to shatter should she drop one in her perpetual state of fatigue) she pulled out another of the spackle-patterned cups. On a whim she grabbed a second, for Renji, before closing the panel.

Back at the table Akon had already pulled up a cushion opposite the side where her cup rested, reclining with his back to the doorway they had entered through. He seemed not to notice when she joined him and began preparing his drink (though he was paying enough attention to absentmindedly decline the cookies she held out to him), instead opting to tilt his head over his shoulder and observe with great interest as Renji finished buttoning Ichika back into her sleeper.

After washing up, Renji vaporized the refuse his chore had generated with a simple kido spell (simple, yet it took nearly two months of practice before Rukia would let him use it anywhere near the baby). With a grin and a wiggle of his fingers, he proudly exhibited his empty hands in front of her face.

“’An lookit that, we’re all done! Now…whoa, hey! Get that outta your mouth, little missy! How’s Daddy supposed to do your hair all nice if ya eat the tie?”

Ichika’s response to Renji’s question came out as something along the lines of a raspy, “ _auhh vah brrrr!_ ”

“Yeah… _exactly_.” Renji nodded solemnly and smoothed out the thin blue ribbon he had just confiscated from her between his fingers. In just a few quick motions, he twisted up a tiny tuft of red hair on top of her head and skillfully tied the ribbon around it in a neat little bow. Once that was done, he swiftly scooped her up under his arm. “’Kay, Ichika! Let’s go show Mommy ‘an Akon-san how pretty ya look!” He headed their direction with Ichika gleefully kicking and blowing raspberries all the way.

Leaving the teapot next to its tray for the moment, Rukia made sure to smile with her whole face when Renji sat cross-legged on the cushion beside her and held Ichika out. “Oh, you look so _beautiful_ , Ichika!” she raved enthusiastically, “And what do we say to Daddy? We say, ‘ _thank you, Daddy, for doing such a good job with my hair!_ ’” Holding one chubby hand in each of hers, Rukia gently moved Ichika’s arms in various motions to emphasize each word as she said it.

Ichika smiled widely the whole time, even throwing up her hands on her own and letting out a gleefully long “Heeeee…!” when Rukia let go and finished with a big “ _you did it!”_ kiss to her forehead.

Sounding more bored than amazed, Akon appeared to closely study Renji’s handiwork and commented, “Impressive.”

“Nah, not really.” Renji plopped the baby into a sitting position on his lap and held her against him with one hand. “Ya get real quick with it after a few hundred times…ain’t that right, Ichika?” He lightly twiddled one of her rosy cheeks while making soft clicking noises with his tongue.

Having finished topping off her own cup, Rukia swished the teapot and found a good amount of liquid still sloshing around inside. Well, good thing she had the foresight to bring that second cup. She hovered the spout over it. “There’s still some tea left…do you want any, Renji?”

“Hmm, that depends, _Mommy_ ,” Renji’s gaze suddenly darkened and he leaned towards her with his voice lowered to a husky whisper, “Does Daddy get a kiss _now_ if he thanks ya for doin’ a good job with his tea, or does he hafta wait til later for somethin’… _special_?”

Rukia sputtered and nearly dropped the teapot onto the table. A thousand possibilities as to what “special” could entail whirred through her mind at once and it sent her reeling into a mental tailspin.

What a disgrace…Over a year of marriage (and one child) later and here she was, _still_ getting thoroughly flustered over her husband’s suggestive flirting outside the bedroom like a blushing newlywed. She was only lucky that Akon was too busy attentively watching Ichika take hold of Renji’s sleeve and bat it around to notice what Renji had just done to her. But of course. That boorish oaf always knew _exactly_ the right moment to offer up lewd propositions only she would notice, even while others were present.

Regaining her hold on the teapot, Rukia glared at Renji, heart hammering wildly. “D-do that again and next time you’ll be _wearing_ your tea instead of drinking it,” she hissed, even though in truth she would never dream of wasting such good tea by pouring it all over Renji. Well…at least, not while anyone else was around, otherwise she would… _NO. STOP._ Now was not the time, they had company.

Satisfied, Renji snapped back to normal and gave her a pleased grin; Rukia did not pour him a single drop of tea until he had wiped that off his face.

“ _Mmmmm!_ ” Ichika suddenly flailed her hands around in front of her and started pitching forward in urgent rocking motions towards the table.

“Hey, what is it, kiddo? What’s goin’… _ahhh_ …” Renji chuckled and picked up the bright yellow ring she was reaching desperately for. “Right…there ya go!”

The moment Ichika had the ring tightly clutched in both fists, into her open mouth it went. And this, for some reason, seemed to please Akon the most.

“So…emotionally developed enough to interact with others…able to successfully convey basic intent…adequate control over motor skills…and she’s teething already.” He swirled his mug thoughtfully while Ichika bit into the soft plastic with a barrage of garbled “ _mueh mueh mueh_ ” sounds.

The way he said this, coupled with the strange fascination he had been exhibiting towards her daughter from the moment he laid eyes on her, made Rukia suddenly feel a much different kind of anxiety and she stopped pouring into Renji’s cup. “Um, yes. That’s good, right? It’s not too early?”

After taking a sip of his tea, Akon shrugged and jimmied his long, pale fingers through his ragged mop of dark hair. “Can’t say. I have no more idea than you do. Don’t look at me like that, I only deal with artificial beings and genetically modified experiments,” he glowered when both of them gaped at him in disbelief.

“Right…yeah.” Renji absently started twirling the tails of Ichika’s hair bow around his index finger. “So…uh…bit unexpected ‘an all, but it’s nice ‘o ya to drop by ‘an see us, Akon-san.”

The cup plunked down on the lacquered tabletop with a dull _clink_ and Akon folded his arms reluctantly. “As much as I’d love to stay and chat for a while, this isn’t a social call. I’m here at the request of my captain.”

“…Oh?” Rukia returned the teapot to its tray and briefly exchanged wary looks with Renji, whose ribbon-wrapped finger stilled mid-wind.

“He requires assistance on a certain matter and you two are the only ones who can help him out.” The area of smooth skin just above Akon’s eye that would have normally sported an eyebrow on anyone else lifted at them. “Of course, he expects your agreement and full cooperation.”

Even in the fog of her fatigue, something about all of this was not sitting well with Rukia’s instincts…and judging by the series of creases that were forming at the corners of his eyes, Renji was experiencing a similar sense of unease. So it was without remorse that she informed the man across the table, “With all due respect to Captain Kurotsuchi, Lieutenant Akon, our leave of absence was extended and isn’t over for another month and a half. We aren’t permitted to engage in official Gotei business until-”

“Believe me, he’s already aware of that,” Akon cut in before she could finish, “What he’s asking for doesn’t exactly count as official Gotei business, however…” he paused, obviously intending to complete his explanation eventually, but there was no need. The brief deviation of his gaze towards the baby happily chewing away at her teething ring in Renji’s lap was all they needed.

Every nerve in Rukia’s body zinged at once, like she had just been dunked into a vat of ice water. Her hand automatically jumped to her side a split second before remembering Sode no Shirayuki was not with her at the moment but resting on a stand in the bedroom, right next to Zabimaru. In her peripheral vision, she saw Renji execute the same reflex (nearly yanking out the hairbow), then his eyes narrowed and he tightened his grip on Ichika.

“ _The fuck does that freak want with our daughter_?” Renji snarled, canines flashing.

“ _Oi._ ” The subtle warning tone was likely spurred by the insult towards his superior. “At least hear me out before doing something rash, will ya, Abarai?” Eyeing Renji’s posture as it grew progressively more defensive, Akon relaxed his own once more and leisurely lifted a hand at them.

“I promise, it’s nothing _bad._ The captain merely sent me here to observe her developmental progress for now, but…ahhh, well, how should I put this?” He briefly massaged under one of the horn-like protrusions on his brow. “If she met certain criteria…I’ve been instructed…to…set up a play date. For the girls.”

For close to a minute the only sound in the room was the mix of slurpy chomping and nonsense babbling coming from Ichika. Then Renji’s face scrunched up entirely and he let out a loud “ _…Haaah_?”

“A play date. With her. And Nemuri Hachigou. To play together.” Akon spelled out dryly with a nod at Ichika.

The dense atmosphere of spiritual pressure Rukia and Renji had been unconsciously building up around themselves slowly deflated, but Rukia refused to let her guard down completely just yet. “That’s…that’s it?” she questioned sharply, “There’s nothing more to this…’ _arrangement_ ’?” The cookie package rustled as Renji dragged it across the table towards himself.

“That’s it.”

“Er…well…” Slowly, Renji plucked out a cookie with his sights tilted down at Ichika, lost in her own little world of munchy, chewy satisfaction, completely detached from what was currently going on around her. He frowned again after the cookie had entered his mouth. “… _why_ …?”

“It’s the captain and he has his reasons, that’s why. Sorry if you were looking for specifics…he doesn’t exactly broadcast everything he’s thinking.” Akon sighed and closed his eyes. “Look…no one this close in age was around last time Nemuri was this young. I figure he’s interested in observing how an adolescent mod soul responds to socialization with another kid, especially a kid with the same level of potential. Granted, Nemuri _is_ older by more than a year but she’s remarkably gentle with smaller things. Based on what I’ve gathered here and during lab tests, in my opinion she and your daughter will get along well together.”

“But you said so yourself…she’s a mod soul, artificially created in a lab. Ichika was conceived when we…ah…um…” Rukia faltered, heat rapidly rushing into her cheeks. She heard Renji quietly cough up his cookie. “…th-that is…Renji fathered her, and I…I carried and gave birth to her. Wouldn’t they be too different for-?”

“The way I see it,” Akon interrupted bluntly with his eyes still shut, “Any soul, no matter how it came into being or who it belongs to, has the intrinsic potential to form a connection to another soul, in some way. It’s interesting, though…seeing as the two of you are close friends with humans and the like, I guess I expected you to understand that without my saying.”

With his piece said, Akon threw back the rest of his tea in one gulp and left them to digest this in shameful silence while Ichika slowly nodded off, still sitting upright in Renji’s hold and clinging to the teething ring.

He was right. There was nothing they could say to dispute his words without denying the bonds they shared with their friends and allies. Things such as social status and state of being mattered not; It was their mutual feelings that brought them together and transcended such trivialities. But above all else, the desire for some form of acknowledgement…love, companionship, worshipful adoration, even fear…burned bright in the hearts of every being they encountered, whether conscious or not. Denying a soul manifested in the form of a young child the chance at a positive, beneficial camaraderie outside the social circle she had been confined to for most of her existence by her parental figure would be exceedingly cruel.

And as she watched the deep purple of her daughter’s eyes thin out into slits, Rukia realized, with a heavy pang of guilt, Nemuri was not the only little girl their refusal would take this opportunity away from.

“Right…” she reached over and smoothed back a soft wisp of red hair from that tiny, serene face. “Please inform Captain Kurotsuchi we would love to have Ichika and Nemuri Hachigou play together sometime soon. Noon two days from now will work just fine, I think?”

Renji nodded his approval. After she had gently eased the ring from Ichika’s grip and laid it on the table, he carefully relocated the baby the cradle of his strong arm where he could easily help along her transition into slumber.

Rukia watched, and found herself fighting hard against the romantic urges welling up from deep within at the sight of his tender, loving expression. She adored that expression, as it was one he only ever put on for his child and his wife; For Ichika and for her. Renji noticed and, with a knowing smile, discreetly wove his fingers through hers under the table. It came as natural as taking a breath for them now.

“ _Shhh…atta girl…there we go…that’s it…_ ” back and forth he rocked Ichika, softly whispering as her breathing slowed and her body relaxed, his hand still joined with Rukia’s in secret all the while.

Akon waited patiently until Ichika had fully drifted off before responding to Rukia, “Good. He’ll be pleased to hear you’ve accepted his proposal.” He braced his hands on his knees and heaved himself into a standing position. “Ah, well, thanks for the tea, but I really should get back to work…no, no, please, don’t get up, I’d much rather let myself out.”

Turning lazily on his heel, he flapped one hand at them over his shoulder, the other he jammed into the pocket of his lab coat, and made to leave the room. Just as he was about to pass through the parted screens, however, Akon froze, braced on the frame, and through the fabric of his pocket, the outline of a fist visibly formed. His head tilted a fraction before he spoke aloud.

“You know, I have to confess…lately, I’ve found myself wondering…if the previous Nemuri had someone to call a friend…a _real_ friend…how differently things might’ve turned out. I suspect we’ll know the answer to that soon enough though, eh?”

Then he was gone, nothing more than a fading shuffle of footsteps moving through the entrance hall, pausing briefly, then disappearing entirely as soon as the door slid shut with an dull _clack!_

Throughout it all Ichika remained safely undisturbed in her father’s arm, only shifting to let out a wistful sigh when her parents came together in an affectionate embrace above her.

* * *

 

**_5½ YEARS LATER…_ **

In the Gotei 13, few people outside the 12th Division ever set foot inside the laboratories of the Department of Research & Development unless required by an order, for work-related business. It was entirely possible most found them uninviting, even eerie. Within the darkened rooms, the only light emission came from things like giant tanks full of bubbling fluid or the computer screens forever relaying information or wall mounted monitors, along with the buttons that controlled them.

How comical…to think a _god of_ _death_ could be repelled by something as trivial as the dark. But this was only a theory, really. Whatever explanations they had, it was better they stayed far away from it all. No, not for safety reasons, of course, (that was barely a concern…Shinigami were easily replaceable, after all) but the absence of unnecessary bodies and the nonsense they brought with them meant more room to work without distractions.

That was the philosophy of the man who currently stood within one of those rooms, studying the flickering computer screen before him with rapt eagerness, bathed in a sickly green glow from the numerous experiments fermenting in the row of tanks behind it. Suddenly, between those focused golden eyes and painted shapes of black a wide grin stretched over his pale face; The long-awaited news had arrived at last.

“Hmph…So the West 55th block is finally completed? Those imbeciles sure took their sweet time finishing it…Now, to expand the secret underground network…”

Tongue between his teeth, he tapped out a series of commands. All at once, multiple streams of fluctuating data flashed themselves at him, disappearing as swiftly as they appeared. _Tauntingly_ swift. Hmmm…perhaps the system was making a pitiful attempt to trip him up? Ha! What foolish nonsense. With his superior intellect, rapid data accumulation, even in competition against the likes of a computer, was mere _child’s play_. With utmost ease, every last integer that materialized in front of his attentive eyes was absorbed and instantly analyzed.

“Let’s see…” he murmured to himself. His mind sped through the calculations; Within seconds he had his answer and…ah, yes. As predicted, what little equipment he had been able to secretly install during the heavily overseen construction process was insufficient for gathering all the necessary information. No matter…statistics collected firsthand were the most precise anyhow, why would he ever complain about going the extra step to ensure utmost accuracy?

“We’ll have to do a cursory overview of the location on-site.” He spun about, calling over his shoulder as he did so, “ _Hurry along, Nemuri Hachigou!_ ”

As always, he heard her before he saw her: A pattering of tiny sock-clad feet on hard floor, soft little gasps of breath, then into the light she burst forth, dark hair and shihakusho fluttering and blurring into streaks behind her as she ran.

“ _COMING, MAYURI-SAMAAAA!_ ” she trilled at the top of her lungs.

Mayuri winced. The child’s voice was far too _piercing_. That was something he failed to foresee during the modification process. Next time, he would rectify this little issue first.

“I told you…you don’t have to shout like that.”

Mmmm, make that…if there _was_ a next time. No good ever came from being presumptuous.

“Ohh!”

The top of her head bounced into his peripheral vision. This time, he caught sight of her shoulders puffing out for the wind-up and was sufficiently braced for the next cheerful yell that penetrated the air.

“ _SORRY, MAYURI-SAMA!_ ”

She merrily skipped along next to him, eyes shining. He shook his head and sighed out loud.

“ _I swear…how you wound up this way is a complete mystery…_ ”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I love working with ways to write new characters and a pretty dry but logically insightful thinker like Akon was no exception. You might have noticed that not only does Akon give exactly zero effs about conforming to houseguest etiquettes, he actually does the opposite or deliberately contradicts them in some way (ex: he sits with his back to the door) The guy obviously has a blasé disregard for generally accepted rules…he smokes while he’s working in the lab for Pete’s sake. XD I loathe Mayuri as a person but like any character with motives far removed from my own he is brilliant fun to play.
> 
> Just an fyi I know a lot of people think full-body and/or footie pajamas are “onesies” but they’re actually called “sleepers”. Onesies are the short sleeved leotard looking things (like a body suit à la Beyoncé For Babies™ or something). Ichika is wearing a sleeper in this story. I think it would make sense for her to have a lot of modern Western-style clothing and baby accessories because their human friends and acquaintances in the Living World gave them as gifts...and you know in his spare time Ishida would be happily churning out adorable handmade clothing for a little girl like there’s no tomorrow. lol


End file.
